Friday, October 19, 2012

What I do know, What I don't know, and What I think I know

After vacation and meeting Traci and Jeff, things went downhill, FAST. I tried. I tried so so hard. I told her my insecurities. I told her me and Brandon's past. I tried being friends with her. I tried "keeping the enemy close." The thing was, she and Brandon are exactly alike: lying manipulators. It's hard to see it when you're in the middle of it but now, it is so crystal clear to me...I got super played.

I wish I could write everything that went down and maybe one day I will! but it is still too fresh for me and I still haven't soaked it all in yet like before. Maybe because I still don't have all the facts, maybe because he still denies it, or maybe my subconscious won't let me process it all because I can't handle it. I try to gather it all to write and it is just one big blur of screams, tears, lies, and me just being a broken, needy, manipulated dumb ass fool.

Here is what I do know:

  • as much as Brandon wants to deny it, I have proof he is with Traci...well not physically because he thinks he has everyone fooled...but he tells her "I am so in love with you" and they are about to live in the same house together. He bought a house for her.

  • Brandon has played a lot of folks since all this went down. He has been with countless girls (probably behind Traci's back) but once a cheater always a cheater! I don't know what makes her think if he left me for her, what is going to make him stay with her?

  • I am so much better off and had Brandon not left me, I would still be in that mess.

Here is what I don't know:

  • How long Brandon and Traci had been together before we separated and if they had sex.

  • How many other girls Brandon screwed around on me with.

  • How Brandon can continually lie to everyone's face and it not catch up with him.

Here is what I think I know:

  • Brandon will continue to play everyone. Nothing will ever be enough to make him happy.

  • Karma is a bitch and he will soon find that out.

So this is the end of my dark saga for now. I may come back to it but I'm ready to bring yall to my present, happy times! :)

Until then!

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