Thursday, December 6, 2012


This in:

There will be a wedding in 2013!

Sley proposed to me in downtown Wilson, in front of a crowd right before getting on a romantic carriage ride around the block, last Friday night, Nov. 30. Sorry it has taken me until now to update but I wanted to update with pics but at home it takes forever and most of you are friends of mine on facebook so you've seen my pics!

I wish I could say that the night up until the proposal was magical but I would be telling a story. I mean, it was FAR from it and it was mainly my fault!

**Bare with me, this post is all over the place!

So you remember from a few posts back how I was having troubling keeping my emotions under control? Well I went to the Dr* and was prescribed 2mg Valium. The first night I took the entire pill and 30 minutes later started drooling, so Sley and I both agreed that I didn't need the whole pill.

**The day I got divorced, I took off the whole day and set my Dr. appt for that afternoon. I am very confident when I say I will NEVER. EVER. go to Wendell Urgent Care again. The Dr/owner wasn't there so I had to see a different Dr. I HATE TAKING MEDS but I knew I needed something! After getting my vitals taken by the nurse and explaining that I understood everyone has their own problems and such and I felt dumb for being there, I explained to her (while crying) everything I've been through this year (the main part most of you don't know about). She believed I was correct in coming. She was so sweet and said everyone needs a little help sometimes. After she walked out to get the Dr., I felt more confident that I did the right thing in coming. Next thing I know, the Dr. comes in, tells me no medicine is going to fix my problems and the reason my chest hurts and I have anxiety is because I won't talk about things. Now, while that may be true that no medicine is going to fix anything I have going on, it will keep me from crying all. the. time. and help me from chopping someones head off for blinking. Any way, I left there with a prescription of 15 Valium and told "if you use all of these in a month then we have problems." Then and there, I vowed never to step foot in there unless that Dr. isn't there anymore. Her bedside manner was awful! and she had an attitude that she was better than everyone.

Oh yea! The proposal night! So Thursday night, Sley and I went out to eat with his cousins for dinner. I didn't take my 1/4 of Valium that day because I don't want to be dependent upon that to be happy but apparently I'm not ready for that yet because before we went out to eat, I wouldn't even talk to Sley, much less look at him. He asked, "Did you take you medicine today shug?" and I burst out crying, then laughing...So I took the meds, we ate and on the way home he said timidly, "Will you please take your meds tomorrow? I don't want to see you like this tomorrow night."

We had already planned on going to downtown Wilson on Friday earlier that week because they were having a special Christmas "thing" going on and had a horse and carriage ride, free to the public. There were a bunch of us going and the weather was perfect, just like it ought to be in December, COLD!

So Friday morning, I got up and Sley already had my medicine out on the table with a glass of water, which I took before I left for work that morning. Friday was crazy busy at work and by the time 5:30 came around, my 12:00 lunch was GONE! I was starving!!! I knew we had a bag of Cheddar & Sour Cream Ruffles in the pantry and had my mind set that was what I would snack on while we headed to Wilson. I called Sley when I got off of work (like I always do) and asked him if he would fix me a little baggie of chips since I knew we wouldn't be eating dinner until afterwards and I was STARVING. He explains and apologizes that he ate all of the chips earlier that afternoon.

You know when you're hungry and you get something on your mind that you want and all you can do is think about it? Well I wanted chips...and not the 3 month old off brand lays that had been sitting in the pantry but the fresh bag of Cheddar & Sour Cream Ruffles I had just bought 2 nights before.

I got pissed. I know, lame over some stupid chips, but nonetheless, I was slightly irritated to the point that I didn't want to talk to Sley anymore. He tells me to stop at the store and pick up a snack on the way home (very sweetly I might add) but I had no desire to make an extra stop after a long, busy day. So I huffed, told him I loved him and hung up. Then....I called Paige. I may have cried about my precious chip ordeal and how my stomach was slowly, but SURELY, eating my flesh from the inside out because I was THAT hungry, and Paige, being my best friend, told me she understood my frustrations because no one gets between a girl and her snack. After crying and getting consoled, I sucked it up, chatted a little about what our weekend plans were, thanked her for listening to my nonsense, then hung up.

As I pulled in the driveway, Sley met me outside with another 1/4 of Valium and a cup of Coke (since he drank the last water, too). We just chuckled because we both knew the 1/4 I took earlier that morning had apparently worn off. Oh its the small things in life like Valium that bring us laughter.

We picked up Roger, Sley's cousin, and headed toward Wilson where we met Tabatha and her daughters, Roger's wife Hope, and Brad with his family, Sleys best friend. Brad and his family had already been downtown for a while so decided to do their own thing while the rest of us got in line for the carriage ride.

Downtown was decorated beautifully. There were holly trees covered in white lights and most of the small businesses had stayed open late that night for the Christmas affair! They had people selling popcorn, candy, and hot chocolate while we stood in line to ride and Sley redeemed himself from being the chip thief when he brought me a bag of extra buttery, salty popcorn and a hot chocolate. It was cold outside but just right for a carriage ride.

The carriage ride was really two horses pulling a cart with 5 rows of seats that held about 15 people. Ofcourse everyone knew what was going on but me and Hope had told the guy in charge. It was our turn to ride and I noticed Sley dragging and pushing me toward the cart. Usually, Sley always walks in front of me, which is fine because when I don't know my surroundings that well, I would rather him lead, but that night, he was pushing me to go first and I told him in my not-so-nice voice, "quit pushing! you're hurting me!" I noticed his hands were shaking as he touched my back and not the "it's kinda cold out here even though I am wearing a heavy jacket" kind of shaking.

I get in my seat and turn around, noticing he is getting ready to get on one knee in front of all these strangers! He had always joked that he was going to propose in front of a crowd but I didn't believe him. There was a camera in my face (local news channel) filming the entire thing! I couldn't believe it...I don't even remember what he said...something about wanting to spend the rest of his life with me and he loves me...all I could do was take that sweet face of his in my hands and hold him, kissing his cheak, while everyone applauded as I told him, "yes!"

I don't remember the ride much. My mind just couldn't comprehend what had just happened. We snapped a few photos on the ride right after he got up and I just sat there, my arm wrapped tightly around his, with a huge corny, cheesey grin on my face. "How did I get so lucky? Why do I deserve a second chance at this? Oh my gosh, I'm engaged!" All of this running through my head at one time. I was on cloud nine and everything around me was a fog. This man who deserves 1000x better than me feels the same way about me as I do him. We love each other so much. Neither one of us is perfect but we love each other, good and bad, imperfections and all.

The rest of the night consisted of texts, facebook notes, squeals of excitement, cuddling, DINNER (mexican), and just an overall amazingly good time.

The going question around here is, "have you set a date?!" and the answer is "no". We have a lot going on right now and while we don't have a specific date yet, we know it will be sometime in 2013. We haven't made our mind up yet if we just want to elope or have a wedding but we are just taking one day at a time, enjoying each others company, sharing Cheddar & Sour Cream Ruffles, and laughing through my Valium!


  1. I'm so happy for you, you deserve all the best :-)

  2. You should try Knightdale Family Medicine and see Dr. Adams. I left the Wendell Dr. for the same reason. The nurse you saw was completly right when saying everyone needs a little help! Cymbalta is a life saver, no joke!Congrats on the engagemnt :) Good Luck planning!


  3. So So So Happy for you!!!

    As for the Valium, that is a pretty strong jump from no meds to something so potent. I have taken Ativan for anxiety for a couple years (as needed of course) and Celexa or Prozac as a maintenance drug. I hate the thought of being "medicated" but I can tell you that I feel a MILLION times better now that I am chemically balanced. Plus, when things started to level out in my life I was able to wean off of Ativan completely. Find a new doc and remember, most primary care physicans are not really cut out to help in the mental department. Talk to a psychiatrist and come up with a plan of action. Plus, see if there is a group therapy option around. I know it sounds cheesey and holistic, but I took a 4 part class on anxiety and have so many tools now to help myself. You have been through an awful lot in the last 18 months - there is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself now.

    I am just so, so excited for you! I can't wait to keep following you on this journey. If you ever want to chat about the meds/anxiety let me know, I've battled it for a long time and have no judgement!

    Love you!!!!

  4. I LOVE your blogs and am thrilled that you will be my sister in law next year ;) Hope we can do something this weekend together.