Wednesday, December 12, 2012
So there isn't a whole lot going on now...
I've shared about the hell I went through before my divorce when I was still married
I shared about my dark days after Brandon left me
I shared my heart and feelings while going through the divorce
I shared about going on unfamiliar dates
I shared when I settled down with Sley
I just recently shared of our engagement!
Now what? It's different telling about me and Brandon's ups and downs because he is no longer in the picture. I totally agree with the phrase "you shouldn't air your dirty laundry", especially out of respect and the love I have for Sley. Everyone has their disagreements, their misunderstandings, their tiffs (which luckily with Sley and I, are few and far between). So I sit here pondering, "what is too much to write? what constitutes airing my ugly, stinky, worn out, stained dirty laundry?" I've always been real on my blog but now that I'm in a relationship with a man whom I plan to marry one day, there has been an imaginary, automatic, fine line drawn.
I never want Sley to feel like our privacy is being encroached upon by me blogging about our lives so I guess the game plan for me is to ask permission before blogging about something personal between us. It's only fair. If he isn't comfortable with me putting an issue out there then I respect him. I am a pretty open person, if you want to know, I'll tell you. My poop isn't a colorful rainbow of skittles (lol although that would be pretty dang awesome!). My objective for this blog is for those who read it, who wonder like I have if their life is the only one in shambles, who wonder if there is hope beyond a failed marriage, who have trust issues and wonder if they are crazy...to offer some comfort to them, to let them know they aren't alone, they aren't crazy, and life sometimes sucks but will get better! To those who read it that have a wonderful life all the time, grab yourself a cookie from me...on my blog I offer you laughter and a good read.
I still struggle daily; not as much about Brandon being gone but just trying to break myself from how he left me. I have a constant fear of Sley waking up one morning and not wanting to be with me anymore and/or telling me he doens't love me. I have turned into a control freak who doesn't like change, who thrives off of a calendar, and can't handle big crowds or feel out of place. Wow reading that I'm like, "what a nut case!"
So folks, this is where I stand! I hope since I am not going through something life threatening, earth shaking, devastating, that you dont feel bored. I assure you this life of mine is FAR from boring...boring sounds so nice...So stay tuned to random posts about who knows what and thank you all so much for reading this thing and offering your encouragement to me! This blog has really turned into somewhat of a self help for me and I want to thank you for trodding though this muddy pit of mine called life! Mud can be so dirty but sometimes it can be so much fun!!!